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You say being nitpicky about pets and that sort of thing pushes people away, but so does disregarding more than a decade of roleplay and lore just because people want a certain pet, buff, costume etc. If you want to play with undead things, fine - just don't get upset when characters with good reason to react badly do so.
Then go be a demoner. That's literally what that theme is. The theme of Kinsarmar/magick in general is that there are limits you don't cross because the dangers are too high. And AM's theme is that all magick is the start of a slippery slope.