Are you a god?!?

AhkanAhkan TexasMember Posts: 2,375 ✭✭✭✭✭
edited February 2015 in Role Playing and Events
**WARNING** Adult language was used in the making of this video. Orcs -were- harmed in the making of this video.

Backstory (Yellow scrolling text and big fanfare music):  The stalwart heroes Ahkan and Kanthari  venture into the orc city of schrov'ik with mind to slay the horde after a heated exchange between URZOG THE SCOURGE KING was and MYFANWE. As the Prophet has mandated "Talk ****. Get hit." The two brave champions of the Deadwood find themselves beset upon all sides by the villainous horde....


Kanthari slashed a Kaark'Goron Elite Guard with a sabre.
Kanthari has scored an awe inspiring hit to his target!!!
A Kaark'Goron Elite Guard died.
You gain a spirit commodity from your efforts.
Kanthari picks up the corpse.
Kanthari slashed a Kaark'Goron Elite Guard with a sabre. <-- What a badass, right?

You yell, "Bards offer more resistance than your guards!"

You yell, "It's funny because it rhymes."

Kanthari Sazuran, the Jackal says, "I suspect you are up to no good."

The guttural voice of Urzog, the Scourge King rattles your bones as he shouts, "Telling yourself you are funny, does not make it true."

You say, "See, we're building a line of communication."

Kanthari Sazuran, the Jackal says, "I don't speak Orcish."   <-- right here, you know this is going to end poorly.

The soporific scent of blighted loam lingers upon the air as Myfanwe shouts, "Now now, Urzog. Looks aren't everything. Leave my poor Lieutenant alone."

You see Kanthari Sazuran, the Jackal shout, "I'm with him, so looks shouldn't be a concern."

To the EAST you see:
Urzog's throneroom.
Urzog, the Scourge King stands here, his grotesque form streaked in thick, sickeningly glistening cords of blood and tissue.
e: west and down

Kanthari Sazuran, the Jackal says, "Do you ever worry about Kinsarmar?"

You point to the east.

You follow Kanthari to the east.   <-- NOT WHAT I MEANT.
Urzog's throneroom.

He is a radiant entity. The overpowering smell of metallic blood and dead tissue surrounds Urzog, the Scourge King. No clothing shields his massive form, though rough iron pauldrons studded with jagged spikes protect his shoulders and upper back, seemingly lashed to his body with hideous organic ropes of sticky blood and tissue. A matching set of vambraces also hug his bestial forearms. His form itself seems to shift at times, his features, hulking as they are, taking on different musculoskeletal attributes of Horde creatures. These changes, however, are so imperceptible that only a discerning observer would take note.

Kanthari Sazuran, the Jackal frowns and says to you, "He doesn't have a crown. How disappointing.

Urzog, the Scourge King says, in Orcish, "Have you come to bow before me."

The soporific scent of blighted loam lingers upon the air as Myfanwe shouts, "Were We not already blind, your radiance would surely have seen it so, Jackal."

You say, in Orcish, "Uh, no?"   <--- strong opening move

Urzog, the Scourge King says to Kanthari, in Orcish, "I do not need a crown, however, I will take the blood from your veins."

You say to Kanthari, "He says he doesn't need a crown but he's going to take the blood from your veins.

Kanthari Sazuran, the Jackal says to you, "I'm rather attached to my blood."

Kanthari Sazuran, the Jackal whispers to you, "I didn't think you could be a king without a crown. Even Theophilus has a crown."

You say to Kanthari, "Maybe blood is his crown?"

Kanthari Sazuran, the Jackal says to you, "We have all this nice orc blood, he could perhaps use that?"  <-- Opening Salvo is all from Kanthari.

Kanthari drops a Kaark'Dichraak trader, five corpses of a Kaark'Goron Elite Guard, two corpses of a Kaark'Dichraak trader, and two corpses of a Kaark'Goron Elite Guard.

With a polite bow, Kanthari confides to Urzog, "A gift from the Leechwood."

Urzog, the Scourge King says to Kanthari, in Orcish, "I consider those kings that require crowns to require the added attention, in hopes that their servants follow them simply because they wear such useless jewelry. My followers, however, follow me no matter what I wear atop my head.

You say to Kanthari, "He says crowns are for fashionable ninnies and that his followers follow him whatever he wears on his head."

Kanthari Sazuran, the Jackal says to you, "I would challenge him to wear a ridiculous hat, and see how well they follow him then."

Urzog, the Scourge King says, in Orcish, "If you would like, and it would suit you, perhaps we can fashion a crown from your ribs, although, I fear I would never wear it, but I can place it on display."

You say to Kanthari, "He also offered you a new hat made out of your own ribs and noticed that if you had no ribs you couldn't wear hats so he'd decorate with it.

Kanthari grins mischievously at you.

Urzog taps slightly at the side of the pool, calling a strange looking goblin from the basement to emerge. Urzog then hands him the corpses, "These unworthy guards and traders shall be added to the pool." With that, the goblin nods as he tosses them down below to prepare them for draining.

A messenger woodling skulks in silently from the west.  <-- The reinforcements have arrived! *trumpets*

A messenger woodling tugs impatiently on Kanthari's arm.

A messenger woodling gives a crown of leechroot thorns to Kanthari.

A messenger woodling sneaks away to the west.

Casually strolling into the room is a Kaark'Zamhath Cultist. <-- remember her, she's important later.

Brushing a bit of dust from a crown of leechroot thorns, Kanthari presents it to Urzog. "There you are then," he intones with a nod, "You should have a crown, after all, if you're calling yourself king."

Urzog, the Scourge King says, in Orcish, "Those who fail to do my bidding, are simply added to the pool, this allows me to feed on them, at least they are not a complete waste."

You say, in Orcish, "So you're the accumulation of three hundred years of the horde getting beat down? That's an ocean of blood."

Urzog, the Scourge King says, in Orcish, "You mortals...and your silly traditions."

You say, in Orcish, "We love traditions! We have some good ones, like killing off the horde."

You quickly light up a pungent churata.   <-- victory lap (Too bad I was bashing just before this.


You regain balance.    <--- Aggressive negotiations.Roll with it Kanth.
Your aura of weapons rebounding disappears.
You ravaged a Kaark'Zamhath Cultist

To Kanthari: Oshi.
To Kanthari: UNINTENTIONAL.

A Kaark'Zamhath Cultist died.

You say, in Orcish, "To traditions!"

The end of your churata glows brightly as you bring it to your lips and take a drag, filling your lungs with the smooth, rich smoke.

Lowering the churata, you exhale creating a train of small smoke rings that float lazily up into the air

Urzog, the Scourge King says, in Orcish, "So, tell me strange ones, why have you come to my throneroom, if not to let me feast on your blood?"

To Kanthari: Do we really tell him we were killing his friends and took a wrong turn and "Sup".

To Kanthari: Or do we say it's something fancy.

From Kanthari: I don't speak Orcish.

From Kanthari: Something fancy.

To Kanthari: Your turn.

From Kanthari: Well goddammit.

From Kanthari: I don't speak greenskin, so I've no idea what he's saying.

You say to Kanthari, "He asked us if we had a reason to come here aside from joing the rest of his family in the blood pool.

Clasping his hands behind his back, Kanthari observes idly, "We heard all the commotion and thought we'd cut through a few greenskins for sport." With a succinct nod, he admits, "I don't speak Orcish, so I assumed what with all the shouting it would be a good idea."

To Kanthari: 1/10 for logic 8/10 for badasery.
From Kanthari: Only us.
From Kanthari: Wrong turn, Horde God.

You whisper to Kanthari, "Technically his skin is green."

You whisper to Kanthari, "Just saying."

Urzog, the Scourge King says, in Orcish, "So you came to kill horde because you heard shouting."

You say, "Sort of sums up your culture in a sentence, doesn't it?"

Urzog, the Scourge King says, in Orcish, "You follow the leafy one, yes? Shall my guards kill those within your forest, simply because she shouts, in a rather dull tongue if I might add, as well?"  <--Waaaaggghhhh

Urzog, the Scourge King says, in Orcish, "I also find it amusing you two think you whisper softly."

Urzog, the Scourge King says, in Orcish, "I suppose that is a touch of entertainment for the day."

Urzog, the Scourge King says, in Orcish, "However, I feel you are not entertaining enough.

You whisper to Kanthari, "It thinks its clever."

Kanthari Sazuran, the Jackal whispers to you, "It's no woodling."

You say, "You know, that'd be pretty swell. You see, we're trying to expand our influence and we've been needing like a few wagon fulls of orc bodies. How does Letum work for you?"

Urzog stands from his throne and begins to make his descent into the pool of blood, slowly disappearing from view..

You whisper to Kanthari, "You won't pee in it."

Kanthari Sazuran, the Jackal looks undecided and says, "Of course I won't."

Kanthari squints suspiciously at you.

To Kanthari: We totally could have handled that better.

From Kanthari: That's probably accurate.

From Kanthari: I mean, if nothing else he's better dressed.

Kanthari and Ahkan join the Stavenn war machine destined for doom.

You say, "We made some friends!"

Mathiaus Reopev, Keeper of Eyes says, "All good?"

To Kanthari: We are in deep trouble.

You say, "Not so much."

You say, "He pretty much sort of declared war on us."   <-- If you re-read, you'll notice Ahkan did not translate this part of the conversation.

Kanthari Sazuran, the Jackal says to you, "Wait, what?"   <-- Kanthari finds this out right here.

You say to Kanthari, "He's going to send orcs to visit us because of Myfanwe."

To Kanthari: God, I forgot.

You say, "He asked if we followed the creepy tree lady and he'll send his guards to our forest because he shouts.

You say, "How are we going to tell your wife we started a war with an orc god?"

Dubiously, Kanthari Sazuran, the Jackal says, "Very carefully."

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Post edited by Ahkan on
Tagged:
KanthariAleutiaTheophilusSvoraiKabaalCelosyiMathiausBathanNarakisCelestineIfreannYasuIyrandarAshani

Comments

  • CelosyiCelosyi Member Posts: 39 ✭✭✭
    That was hilarious!
    Ahkan
  • MercerMercer Member Posts: 208 ✭✭✭
    edited February 2015
    "You yell, "Bards offer more resistance than your guards!"

    :(
    Ahkan
  • AhkanAhkan TexasMember Posts: 2,375 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @mercer

    Sorry buddy :( We all still love you
    image
    Mercer
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